Grace like a Flame

Grace like a flame
Holds me..
After four years of honing academic proclivity
After being slightly obsessed with philosophy
After years of devouring most anything christiany
from Picture Bibles to the narrow, little, overlooked,
aspect of systematic God-ology.
It is odd to me?
That I still want to see,
God unfolded, gently, slowly,
Like a letter from a lover
it is like none other
I still want to see.
I find I am still speechless, hopeless, pointless, without his witness blowing through my deepest waters.
It’s not because of me, but in spite of me that I still see.
Prone to put mud in my eyes
Prone to look away to less lovely things
Prone to find seclusion, dilution,
to enjoy distraction, and resist the attraction
Prone to build walls around my soul, and let it get crusty and old
To play in the secrete garden of my ideas,
Trusting fears and watering with tears
And yet, And yet,
The dew still lifts; the heat of the unseen sun still burns my skin.
I cannot win.
But I am prone to wander
If not for the words, they echo, they bellow
Words like, Sufficiency, Eternity, Simplicity, HOLY!
Words like faithfully, lovely, Sovereignty, GLORY!
They keep me - Fixed
Gazing and longing to only know more,
More of his intoxicating nature,
encountering more of his thrilling intricacies,
He is mystery in profound clarity
No tear is too wet, no joy to ecstatic,
When the wind whispers words unspoken
Renewing the old, Reminding this child,
that Divinity is behind each raindrop.
That Glory like a circle never stops
That His eyes know and still love,
even when i spit and cuss ,
That still silently, mercifully,
there is grace in the silence between my words
Glory between the cracks of my fingers, the space between the stars
I see differently, humanly, dyslexicly
No! It is not me But in spit of me
He made me..Prone to wonder,
and grace like a flame. .. Still burns!