Respecting the holy beauty of the marriage bed
A vision of God’s holiness is important to sex and the marriage bed. First, because the holiness of God opens us to rightly honor sex and the marriage bed in this we see the beauty and “oughtness” of chastity. Second God’s holiness keeps us honoring them thru the stages along life’s way. We will look at both in turn.
First, Sex can be honored for the pleasure it brings, or for its fruit (children) but those that are conscious of God’s holiness will honor it because it comes from Him. His authorship and the context in which he places sex are honored because it is from him. As the writer of Hebrews teaches us, “Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” (Heb 13:4). Note God’s holiness to judge is in view. Such a reminder should place a holy fear in our soul’s to respect such a good and beautify gift as sex. God set apart sex for marriage and not to be engaged in outside of marriage. That means we are to respect sex because we are conscious of God! C. S. Lewis once wrote, “either marriage, with complete faithfulness to your partner, or else total abstinence.” Ample evidence shows sex outside of marriage to be less fullfilling, higher risk of the relasionship falling apart men who enter marriage having premarrital sex are 65 percent change to be unfaithful later in life.
Second, Just as God’s holiness spans all of heaven so our honor of his pattern is to span our whole life. Sexual fidelity is for the life of marriage, thus persistence and perseverance are necessary aspects of sexual ethic of marriage. Even after the wedding bells ,we are to be sexually faithful in our marital journey together. There are still Christian marriages where one or both enter as virgins. They enter marriage with knowledge of the pattern but little understanding of its holiness. The French literary master, Victor Hugo is an example of just such a down fall.
He was seventeen and his beautiful Parisian neighbor Addle Foucher fifteen when he told her he loved her; he signed his first letter to his beloved, "Your husband." Theirs was the love of two exiles from heaven, he enthused in adolescent transports; he preserved his virginity for marriage, and he guarded Adele's chastity with a watchdog's vigilance, steering her away from unseemly friendship with a painter and discouraging her from learning to draw: "Does it befit a woman to descend into the class of artists--a class which encompasses actresses and dancers?" Holding out until their marriage in 1822 evidently had its carnal upside: Hugo claimed he made love to his bride nine times on their wedding night.
Hugo followed the holy pattern but without a holy fear and respect for sex adversely affecting his perseverance. By the end of his life he let his appetites get the best of him. Though a man of great compassion and religious sensibility, the proper channels of pleasure did not seem enough, the marriage bed did not evoke thanks as it once did, He divorced his wife and began a slow fade into indulgence.
Pushing seventy years old, he totted up forty different sexual partners in the course of five months; the sex log he had kept faithfully throughout his life--and which lists encounters with hundreds of women--certifies the liaisons. The fiercely virginal youth and devoted young husband had devolved into a satyr, and Parisian womanhood was honored to provide its literary hero with the services he required.
Hugo’s sexual history is a slow fade from chastity to debauchery. His slow fade was because sex for him was a personal pleasure to the exclusion of God’s pleasure. God’s pleasure over the matter eluded him, even when he followed the pattern. In short, He never honored sex as holy, for he never connected its creation with the Creator’s good pleasure. So he never loved the marriage bed as from God. He lacked a sense of honor for the marriage bed; this translated often time to boredom with His marriage bed. The beauty of holiness makes God’s gifts shine with value, no matter how familiar we are with them. When sex and the marriage bed are understood as inseparable and the holy God is understood as the giver of just such a pattern, then the sexual life of a marriage finds its value in the holiness of God. Holy sex is by God’s pattern. A married couple can rest under the holy smile of a holy God in their conjugal endeavors.
No "little" Fun!
To lighten things a little Lets talk about the fun side of sex. Yes I said fun side! The fact that sex is fun is part of how God made it! Sex following God's pattern is fun. So fun sex following God's pattern is holy sex! So to the extent God’s holiness guards marriage, the beauty of his holiness informs us of the joy in sex. God does not make anything without making it beautiful and sex is just such a thing. So the next time you hold your spouse – enjoy in the beauty of his holiness in the wonder of his idea! NOW!? You may say Dawson what do you know! You’re not married!!! I would say, your right! So to that end, here is a video from people who know about conjugal love “the BRITS!” this little clip comes to us from the BBC for your enjoyment and all around education 'kinda'.
Note for further study, I would recommend, "True Sexual Morality: Recovering Biblical Standards for a Culture in Crisis" by Daniel R. Heimbach. I know Heimbach and sat under him at SEBTS. His text has been used at Harvard divinity to show the conservative position on sexual morality. It is one of the best conservative explanations of Christian sexual morality.
No comments:
Post a Comment